Monday, August 29, 2005

Interesting Catalyst for Unusual Thoughts

I woke up this morning at 3 AM because something was crawling on my leg. In my attempts to get away from whatever it was, it bit me. Usually I have little to no response to any kind of insect or spider bite (they avoid me), but this hurt enough that when I couldn't find whatever it was, I moved to another bed. It must have been sort of venomous because the bite spot looked intense for a while (kind of still does, but not so much), and within minutes I started sweating and then hallucinated for several hours while staring at an infomercial. The main reactions that I remember are my hearing became unbelievably acute and my heart was pounding. Also I was almost overwhelmed by the desire to get in my car and drive somewhere (no particular place, but definitely not an E.R. as most people would think to do. Actually, I would rather visit a ayuhusca sipping, chicken blood slinging, goat bone decorated Witch Doctor than spend money in one of those places). When that passed, I then became agitated about the strangest question. I started wondering if throwing away all possibility of a professionally and economically sound future, and losing interest in absolutely everything except the care, manipulation, and fascinating biology of my neighbor's artificial pond, might be some sort of extreme action, or reaction. The rest of the night I struggled with the idea - yes, no, maybe, and by the time the sun came up, my fever was gone, my hallucinations had subsided to their normal levels, and I knew the truth about my behavior - of course it was extreme, and nothing or no one caused me to do it. One day I became interested in ponds and lost interest in other things. I was feeling much more normal, but tired, when I got to work.